Hiding the struggles

I had a graduation party to attend to this weekend. While digesting the fact that my first nephew was done with his school now, I came to think, what was it like growing up? What were the things on my mind, when I was nineteen? Of course, times were completely different back in the early 2000s when I did my college exams – we did not have smart phones and Snapchat, and nobody told us we should stop flying to save the climate – but some things were the same. I remember having the whole world open in front of me with an endless number of options, and I also remember the crazy feeling, that it is only up to me from now on.

Maybe Finland is a bit special in how fast we grow up. By the time you turn 18, you are expected to know crystal clear what you want to do your entire adulthood. You are also half expected to move out immediately, and to start building your bright future. In the country, where the happiest people of the world live in, and where we build stories of successful companies like Nokia and Supercell, combined with free education, nothing can really go wrong, right?

However, I do remember that it was not so easy to decide. I struggled with what university to pick. Should I study in the UK or in North America? What are the consequences of this choice?  And how to arrange my finances? I was lucky to have my parents sponsor my studies at the start, and also received a scholarship. Nevertheless, the choices you make at that point in your life are crucial: the field you pick will be the field you will be working with for the rest of the life. Luckily, I happened to choose something that I still like, and luckily I also put aside some savings to pay for the years after studies when the career did not take me where I thought I´d be by this time already.

What about being a little bit more easy on ourselves? Let's face it. Not everyone grows up as an heir to Supercell, and not everyone has everything that it takes to make life-lasting decisions at young age. Perhaps the young generation would be grateful, if instead of polishing it all up, we would say how things really were for us. And also, why should we be ashamed? It is only life, after all. Things happen, you deal with it, and then you move on. That´s just how it goes. 

To me, being 18 is still young. When I look back at those times, maybe it would have been a relief if someone admitted there were also some struggles in life. As a young graduate I would have appreciated the honesty. Perhaps, if someone told me how they struggled with their own business to finally make it work, or how they did not know what they wanted until turning 30, it would have made my own struggle easier. I would have wanted to hear, if to someone, plans eventually turned out completely different than what they had in mind, but this way they reached something even better they dreamt of.

So, maybe admitting our failures or flaws, does not mean we failed as human beings. Maybe it just means we all have had our fights and after successfully fighting them we became not more or less than what we are today. And maybe it is wisdom to share this with our to-be leaders of future Nokias, too!